Bilbo, Snow and Thirteen Dwarves

It's been a while since I've written. College life, exams and other stuff got in the way. However, I got back home and went to see The Hobbit, with absolutely no clue about the storyline other than the fact that it was the prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy (which I, like most people on middle Earth really enjoyed). It was only 5 minutes before the movie that I learnt that it was in fact the first in the trilogy that is the prequel to the LotR trilogy.

Set in Middle Earth sixty years before The Lord of the Rings, the movie is about the adventures and journey of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman, amiable as usual). The opening scenes in which Bilbo's home in the shire is hijacked by Gandalf and the thirteen dwarves are pretty comical and set the tone nicely for the rest of the movie. Bilbo is made aware of his duties as the burglar if he chooses to help the dwarves in their quest to reclaim their home, the opulent Lonely Mountain from Smaug, the dragon. Why a dragon would want to spend its entire life surrounded by gold, I cannot comprehend. The flashback also describes how the unwillingness of the Elves to help the Dwarves in their time of desperate need led to years of loathing. And I always thought it was due to the disparity in looks. Although initially wary, Bilbo agrees to help out the dwarves in their adventure.

The movie then goes on to capture all the locales that make New Zealand the prized holiday destination that it is today in stunning 3D. Interspersed in the middle are Bilbo and the dwarves' escapades with mountain trolls and their chance encounter with Radagast the Brown, the oddest of wizards, who tells them about a mysterious presence that's been poisoning everything in its vicinity. This is followed by the return of the orcs. And yes, they look even more gross in 3D. The tragic backstory that's made the leader of the dwarves vow to not rest till he's exacted his revenge on the leader of the orcs is revealed and the movie goes on for another hour with the introduction of the Elves and some other known faces from LotR.

The most enjoyable moments of the movie occur toward the end when Gollum is finally introduced after Bilbo is separated from the dwarves who've been captured by the Goblins. Gollum has once again been beautifully crafted and voiced and his puzzle game with Bilbo makes for some real fun scenes, before Gollum's world falls apart on separation from his precious. Bilbo isn't so bad a burglar after all.

My only problem with the movie is that since most of the characters are seen in LotR, you are always aware that there is no real danger to them (and that all potentially deadly situations will be solved with Gandalf remembering that he's a wizard and chanting some spells). Otherwise, it's a nice movie to catch (especially with younger siblings who will definitely enjoy it more than you will) with some humour, beautiful visuals in 3D and lovable characters.

Keh Ke Le Li!

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

And each Wasseypuri, as Ramadhir Singh puts it, chooses to model his life on his favourite Bollywood hero, mouthing his dialogues and sporting his hairstyle.

For those who were shaken by part-1 (the ones with the high morals or weak stomachs), this is definitely a movie to stay away from. For those who were sucked deep into the Wasseypuri Duniya by the magic of Anurag Kashyap and Manoj Bajpai, GoW-2 is one heck of a film!

Shaken out of his reverie by the deaths of his father and older brother, the pot smoking, gun slinging Faizal Khan begins his quest to exact a terrible vengeance against his arch enemy, Ramadhir Singh and his goons- Sultan Khan et al.

One needs to realise that GoW was never meant to be the expeditious Lamborghini that speeds past you in an instant and leaves you gasping. Rather, it is the Rolls Royce that cruises slowly by your side, instilling in you a prolonged feeling of awe. The movie deliberately slows down on more than one occasion as the director indulges in it and draws you into his larger than life vision. A host of new characters get introduced, each with their own backstory, that leads to all their paths getting entangled, with their lives hanging delicately in the balance.

Running parallel to the mischief filled stories of Perpendicular, Tangent(see what I did there) and Definite, is the comical yet heartwarming love story of our hero(Nawazuddin Siddiqui) and his womaniya(Huma Qureshi). While GoW-1 was all about Sardar Khan's laundiyabaaji, the romance in part 2 has quite a few genuinely sweet scenes, especially the ones where Mohsina comforts Faisal with his favourite song. Huma Qureshi entices the audience with unexpected oomph, while Nawazuddin pulls off this aspect of his character with the same nonchalance that he does the rest of this multi-faceted character. The character of Definite is intriguing and Zeishan Quadri does full justice to it.

The soundtrack for this one is simply amazing and Sneha Khanwalkar, I hope, walks home with the awards later this year, for the eclectic collection of songs. The background music too builds up the tension (as easily as it diffuses it at times) and keeps you engaged throughout, building up to a dramatic climax.

The movie is directed brilliantly with the original vision of Anurag Kashyap really showing. Each kill is a spectacle, none more so than the one which happens with an amazing new version of Keh Ke Lunga blaring in the background! Not just the actual process of killing but even the buildup to many is done with great style and humour.

No amount of praise is enough for the brilliant actors of GoW and due credit must be given to the casting director as each actor blends into his/her role with unusual ease. Piyush Mishra's narration is praiseworthy and helps you cling on to every aspect of this wonderful tale. Overall, a bloody good watch and the most original movie to come out of Bollywood in quite some time.

Ab tak nahi dekhi toh jaldi theatre bhaag! Warna Faisal teri keh ke lega! Bhuje?

Cock and tail!

A small note before I begin the actual review. For this post and subsequent ones, I shall be reviewing movies as and when I watch them, and not immediately after their release. That being said, let's get right down to it!

Cocktail. Seldom has a movie been so aptly named. Because beneath all the layers of glitter and gloss, the movie is essentially a tale of cock chasing tail. Saif Ali Khan, for the umpteenth time in his career, plays the ladies' man(Gautam) who manages to charm, talk and guffaw his way into several pants. As always, it's fun watching him in this type of role(though the lines are starting to sound cheesier with every passing year). Deepika Padukone plays Veronica, the 'rich bitch' with the heart of gold, who gets everything she ever could have wanted from her parents but their time. (Am I the only one sensing a pattern here?)
However, as far as I see it, the (only) reason Cocktail will be remembered for will be the debut of the drop dead gorgeous, Diana Penty!

There are plenty of beautiful newcomers in Bollywood today. But there's something about Diana that clings on to a part of you. A model without an accent?! We like!
She enraptures you not just with her looks but also her 'oh-so-sweet' expressions, voice and simple portrayal of the eternally pure Meera. Meera's innocent exchanges with Gautam are sure to bring a smile to your face. Her constant displays of affection toward Veronica and the ensuing 'sacrifices', not quite.
Getting down to the story, Meera who is without a friend in London after getting dumped by her 'husband', is offered a home and comfort by Veronica. Veronica then, embarrasses Gautam in front of a few colleagues to get back at him for earlier having tried to woo Meera at the airport. The same night, she goes on to meet Gautam again at a club and ensues to seduce and 'share a bed' with him.

All three leads go on to then start living together, with Gautam and Veronica sharing a 'no strings attached' equation and Meera merely content to look after her 'bandhus' with fondness. Their world is perfect till the arrival of Gautam's mom(played by Dimple Kapadia), when Gautam introduces to her 'abla naari' Meera as his girlfriend. What follows is a holiday in Cape Town(where the background music unusually bears an uncanny resemblance to the ending score of Vicky Cristina Barcelona), the sexual awakening(well, not exactly...but you'll see what I mean) of Meera and the most predictable elements of every Hindi love triangle ever made.

Though the film does have some genuinely cute and funny scenes, it stretches on for far too long. You can't help but think that you'd have found the film quite enjoyable if it had ended about half an hour earlier, after a scene where the 3 leads sit across a table and supposedly talk things over.

Apart from 'Tumhi Ho Bandhu' and 'Daaru Desi', the music is nauseating with tracks like 'Jugni' being played in the background for I don't know how long.

Watch this if you must, but only for Diana Penty(who I've generously showed you quite a bit of in this review).

The ending we so badly deserved and needed

After having evaded every possible spoiler for over 50 hours, I walked into the theatre extremely eager and wondering what the next 3 hours were going to be like. Nolan just doesn't make bad movies, I told myself. Almost simultaneously, a soft voice in the back of my head whispered something about the law of averages. After the usual deal of trailers and ads, the movie finally began. Eight years since the last spotting of the Dark Knight, Gotham is in a state of peace owing largely to the Dent Act, but Commissioner Gordon knows that it is just a matter of time before this utopia built on a lie falls apart or rather, gets blown to bits.

Right from the spectacular scene in the air that introduces the masked terrorist to the scene where he blows up bridges, sewers and a STADIUM, every scene involving Bane is a dark, destructive spectacle. Though not playing a character as eccentric, crazy and lovable as Heath Ledger's Joker, Tom Hardy manages to bring to life the savage brute who infuses the movie with aggression and physicality of the scale that hasn't been seen in this franchise previously. The Joker wanted anarchy, Bane delivers it in style, smashing and crushing everything in his way, including the Batman's back. The whole of the first half builds up slowly, establishing the characters and storyline along the way, like the quiet before the storm that Selina Kyle so seductively predicts.
And what a beautiful, ravaging storm the second half is.

The inescapable prison and the story of the child who escaped are both beautifully crafted and make way for some great scenes as Bruce Wayne edges towards recovery after being battered to the brink of death and left to rot in the prison by Bane. The culmination is of epic proportions and beautiful in a way that only Nolan can manage.
Anne Hathaway sizzles and spices up the movie with her gorgeous looks, seductive voice, figure hugging costume, tantalizing moves and Robin Hood antics. The scenes involving Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne do bring a smile to your face with some nice lines and sly humour.

Christian Bale once again essays the role of the caped crusader with ease and very effectively manages to portray the angst of a man whose ageing body betrays his young mind that doesn't want to rest until it eliminates crime from Gotham. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is full of energy and effective as John Blake. As for the role of Marion Cotillard, I'll let you savour it in the movie.
All in all, a beautiful spectacle! That's what the movie truly is. Definitely worth the hype and after all those years, boy did we deserve it!